The new show
by Jiax
Summary: someone tell me what the hell is going on here cause I have no clue
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything other than my character

Jiax: Miroku HOW did you managed to buy your own TV station or this island.

Miroku: Secrets of my trade

Jiax: You scared some superstitious rich guy into giving you all stuff

Miroku: Only half and that new camera

Some guy in the studio: Guy you do realize that we're LIVE.

Miroku: Oh? Good morning.

Jiax behind the camera cuts him off: Its Midnight! Idiot

They are broadcasting on an island that still hasn't been named. The time on that island is completely off from the real world time.

Miroku: You are the camera guy you're never supposed to talk

Jiax: And monk aren't supposed to be pervs

Miroku: the monk that does not like women is gay

Some monk in the studio: I'm not gay. (Wimpering like a baby) that hurt my feelings Miroku (rocking in fetal position) some man hold me tightly love me please.

All guys in the room take a step away from the guy

Jiax realizing that the guy is on camera tosses Miroku the camera and procedes to throw the guy out the window as far away as possible.

Miroku: Hey wait (to late. the guy goes flying) we're on the third floor

Hears the guy screams and there was a loud splat.

Jiax: Guess he's not coming back. Back to the show

Takes the camera from Miroku and says: Continue

Miroku trying to ignore the most recent events even though it was witness by everyone watching the show: Somehow I have a feeling that we are all in grave danger and most of us will die painful deaths but that won't happen its impossible

Then Miroku continues on to the roundness of Sango's…lower half

Jiax stares out the window behind Miroku completely ignoring his speech on his girlfriend's legs and butt and starts to mumbling: Is that a plane…. No it's too small

Miroku breaking from a speech about how firm he likes his woman: Jiax shut up and let me finish Sango's body is very curvy and hard to explain in words without a full body picture (he mumbles something about how he still can't get it himself) so shut u.

A thick red van blows through the window and hits miroku, the floor unable to take the weight crashes under. Jiax seeing a figure fly past him before he fell. When the dust finally cleared he glanced around the room seeing debris and a huge van with a man inside arguing with a woman in the back NOT REALIZING THEY DROVE THROUGH OUR THIRD FLOOR WINDOW in some strange and impossible way

Naraku: Woman I took a left

Kagura: You nimrod that was a right

Naraku: Shut up or I'll pull this car over

Jiax thoughts "Wow the still don't realize that they flew into a building"

Jiax looking at Miroku who is smashed to the hood of the car bleeding: You dead

Miroku rolls off the hood: What (cough) hit (cough cough) us a plane

Jiax: I think it's a…van. Hey the camera still on…LIVE still. Miroku I know this isn't the time but how much did this camera cost.

Miroku: more than the building (Suddenly the fact that there is a van in the building and there is a hole in the third floor wall and third and second floors floor) What the HELL happened

Jiax: ask the arguing couple in the van

Miroku REALLY pissed off: DO YOU IDIOTS EVEN REALIZE THAT YOU ARE IN MY DAMN BUILDING

Naraku finally decides to stop arguing and focus on the strange bleeding man who is apparently angry: What is the problem here

Miroku (swears so many times that the beep from the self censoring camera sounds like the inuyasha theme song when he finally starts making sense) WHAT THE PROBLEM HE SAID WHATS THE

Jiax dumps a cooler of icy salt water over his head and salt gets inside his wounds and he begins to scream louder

Miroku:OH SHIT NOW WHATS YOUR DAMN PROBLEM SHIT IT BURNS

Jiax:( talking calmly to naraku) you do realize you're inside of a building and your missing someone in the car.

Miroku: GOD DAMN YOU PEOPLE DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL (obviously insane due to the loss of blood and the situation)

Naraku: (gasp) WHERE'S KO

(A body falls from the air hits a piece of equipment bounces off and hits the ground with a loud thud

Naraku: I TOLD YOU TO ROLL UP YOUR WINDOW AND PUT THE DAMN SEATBELT ON FOR YOUR SAFETY SOME SLAVE YOU ARE I TRY TO HELP YOU AND WHAT HAPPENS YOU DON'T LISTEN GET THROWN OUT THE WINDOW AND NOW YOU'RE A LIFELESS PIECE OF SHIT…(deep breath) DAMN (he said in one breath)

Jiax: WOW…. He's still alive…barely.

The body was so bruised and beaten that it was not able to recongized (A/N you fly out a car and hit some eletric equipment and see how you look…DO NOT TRY THAT IT WILL HURT…ALOT)

Miroku finally calmed down: You …work…for Me now

Naraku: Did I miss something?

Jiax agreeing with Miroku: You destoyed a piece of the building you work for us now

Naraku trying to pass the blame to one the two other people in the van: What about them? And that woman in the back seat caused it she wouldn't stop back seat driving and trying to tell me we stupid stuff like look out for the building or were driving through an ocean

Jiax: I think that's exactly what happened you should have listened

Naraku: Last time I listened to her my castle was destroyed

Miroku(bleeding worse than before)YOU ARE GOING TO REPLACE ALL OF THE SPLATS UNDER YOUR CAR.

Naraku: Wait we can work something out right I'll give you my slave over there and you can do whatever you want with him, I do a lot.

Jiax:( disgusted because of the way he said it) you did WHAT with that kid.

Miroku: and I called that gay monk gay…wait he was

Naraku:I WASN'T DO ANYTHING DISGUSTING WITH HIM I JUST HAD SOME FUN.

Jiax:f…f…fun you had FUN with this kid

Miroku:I know this kid he's my girlfriends little brother..wait that means(hearing a distant whirling sound) GET DOWN EVERYONE

A giant boomerang comes flying through wall and takes two crewmembers that survived the car out the other wall

Jiax:WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

Naraku: OH NO THE DEVIL HAS RETURNED TO TAKE MY SOUL AND FEED IT TO HER GIANT CAT SQUIRREL THINGY.

Jiax: Naraku what did you do

Naraku:I'M SORRY I'M BEGGING SPARE ME TAKE HER INSTEAD.(pointing at the little girl in the car)

Kanna: scared son of a bitch(said in her normal way of speaking)

Unexpectedly Sango jumps through the wall landing on a crew member and stabbing him viciously

WHERE IS THE DEMON RRRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRR

Every points to Naraku and watches as the once powerful demon is reduced to a screaming,dying and decapitated little bitch.

Naraku(gurgle gurgle gasp choke disgusting noises that I can't describe)

IS THIS THE END OF NARAKU, WILL MIROKU EVER FIX THE WALL, WHERE THE HELL DID JIAX GO, FIND OUT NEXT ON..on…whats the name of the show

Crap

R&R please flame away don't hurt a bit

Riax. …Editted this story so it would have a point


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The word to the left describes it all but anyway I own me(Jiax) and nobody else.

WHAT WAS GOING ON AFTER THE LAST EPISODE:Naraku's head , the only piece to survive the brutal beatings of Sango, is stuffed in Kool aid jug. Jiax forgets to add sugar so it tastes like colored water with essence of Naraku. Kanna and Kagura are stuck workiing in the studio until the "head" grows a new body.

Naraku: Stupid servants!! Get me a larger jug.

Miroku: You can't be serious.

Kanna: Wimpy bitch. ( monotone as usual)

Naraku: WHAT!!? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO SLAVE.

Kanna: A decapitated head that was almost killed by a woman with a giant boomerang a sword and issues with you because you most likely took her brother and in your one words had a little fun with and has yet to return him and by how he's acting shows signs of severe trauma most likely done by rape and or sexual abuse( said in a fast but calm voice)

Everyone including the very few survivors( excluding Naraku): WOW(look at naraku waiting for a response)

Naraku: I…a…um..I didn't abuse you so I wouldn't have done anything to him

Crowd:Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (looks at kanna)

Kanna: proof you only like little boys.

Crowd looks back at Naraku

Naraku:I am not dumb enough to do that cause I know Sango would have hunted me down

Crowd looks at Kanna

Kanna:maybe but if that's true how were you dumb enough to drive into a building.

Naraku stays silent

Miroku jumps out the crowd

Miroku:HERE IS OUR WINNER NOW TAKE YOUR PRIZE MONEY(grabs Naraku's wallet and hands it to her)

Naraku:WAIT THAT'S MY WALLET..WHERE ARE YOU GOING BRING THAT BACK..LISTEN TO ME…NOW..please..pretty please with sugar on top.

Jiax walks up to Miroku

Jiax: why did you do that

Miroku: the red light on the camera's on meaning were live.

Sango walks past covered in Naraku's blood

Sango:WHERE IS KOHAKU IF NARAKU HURT HIM I'LL CHASE HIS SOUL TO HELL BEAT IT TO HEAVEN AND BACK TO HELL.

Kanna: Naraku locked Kohaku in his room tied to his bed and told him to wait tell he gets back.

Sango:RRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NARAKU I'LL(insert long brutal word here)YOU AND THEN I'LL(add long word that means torture)YOU AFTER THAT I'LL(place really long word that means kill here)YOU TO THE DARKEST PIT IN HELL.

Turns around and runs through the wall taking about millions of dollars worth of equipment with her.

Miroku forgets about the camera and runs over to his wall putting his hands where it should have been.

Miroku:WHERE THE HELL DID ALL OF IT GO.

Jiax walks over to thejar holding Naraku

Jiax:you slave NOW

Miroku:a wall just can't disappear into oblivion.

Naraku: don't hurt me I'll work just don't tell that raging monster where I am.

Miroku: (On the ground screaming)WHY WHY DID MY BEATIFUL FLAT FULLY PAID FOR WALL HAVE TO BE DESTROYED SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO ANYBODY…WWWWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYY.

Everyone watching the show stares in fear scared that if they change the channel the "Boomerang demon" would hunt them down.

A little while afterwards everyone was helping miroku fix his wall.except for Sango and the head of naraku.

Jiax guys I got a plan

Miroku:what(still sobbing from the "death" of his wall

Jiax:were going to frame Naraku.

Naraku: wait a minute

Jiax:Kanna remember that thing you said about Kohaku.

Kanna:yes what about it.

Jiax:well lets do that we'll tie Kohaku to Naraku's bed and say that he did it again.

Naraku: WAIT GUYS IF THIS IS ABOUT THE WALL AND HALF THE CREW I'M SORRY BUT YOUR TAKING IT A LITTLE TO FAR.

Miroku:good idea I'll tell sango and Kanna you go and make Kohaku agree with the plan.

Naraku:WAIT I'M THE BAD GUY NOT YOU.

Kagura:We could also put this in the kool-aid holding Naraku.

Naraku:please let that be sugar he forgot to add it in.

Kagura: it's a healing powder that will speed up the regenerating process .

Naraku: WHY SO SANGO HAS MORE TARGETS TO AIM AT.

Jiax: alright guys lets go

Everyone runs out and does their part leaving the still LIVE camera pointing at Naraku's regenerating head.

Naraku: OK GUYS. IT WAS FUNNY YOU CAN COME BACK NOW.

The door opens and a fire breathing Sango runs in shooting machine guns in which no one has a clue where she got them from.Naraku being so scared he knocks over the jar and falls over onto the ground

Sango:( sniffing the air) I smell you Naraku I smell your foul breath and your

Naraku's head rolls into a trash can.(she doesn't have to be so mean about it I mean how am I supposed to brush my teeth I'm just a head)

Sango picks up the trash can and burns it with her dragon breath(most likely caused by intense anger)

Meanwhile Kanna got kohaku to agree with the plan.Miroku looking for Sango and Jiax has Naraku's room set up.

Jiax:okay I have the romantic table set up the paddle and whip and that's it.alright miroku where is sango.(on a cellphone)

Miroku:I can't find her wait found her she almost found him but missed him .

Jiax:well what about you kagura.

Kagura:I found naraku in the trash and gave him the stuff.

Naraku:MY GOD THIS STUFF TASTE LIKE KAGURA'S COOKING GOD DAMN IT IT BURNS, MY TONGUE IS BEING FRIED ALIVE.

Kagura: but its cold?

Naraku: the Horrible minty freshness is DEVOURING MY SOUL

Kagura: what soul.

Naraku:Hey my body grew back…I can't move

Jiax:okay miroku keep watch on sango till were ready.

Miroku:CRAP I LOST HER

Naraku:WHAT WAIT WHY IS SHE IN THIS?

Jiax holding the camera at Naraku: Smile for the camera…you may never have another chance.

Naraku starts crying

Kanna standing silent until now: little bitch.

A giant boomerang comes flying through the wall and flings the paralyzed Naraku inside the oven and turns it on

Naraku:AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Kagura: it looks nice and toasty in there…turn it up

Kanna walks over and puts it on to the highest number possible and breaks the knob

Naraku:OH CRUEL WORLD WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU

Kanna:You raped its children, tried to rule it,and you are the worst camera man yet.

Jiax: (jokingly)why don't we season him and eat him

The audience stares in terror as they cut off his head and ate the rest.Koga shows up and was helping with the legs about to aim for the head.

Jiax: (screaming the entired time) I WAS FREAKIN JOKING.

Koga: well it's to late now. Who new he would taste so good.

Miroku: whats that

Everyone gets up and looks out the hole in the wall(miroku is trying to call it an oversized window) and sees sesshomaru in a speedboat.He looks back as if he's being chased

Kagura:Whats he running…OH MY…

An army of battleships drive past(koga pulls out naraku's jar and begins to drink Naraku flavored Kool-aid before he lets everyone else get a taste).Sesshomaru drives past this time closer to the land one of the battle ships drive through a part of the island

WHAT THE (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep) IS GOING ON I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE WHAT KIND OF FREAKIN REALITY SHOW IS THIS.forget it NEXT TIME ON… WHAT THE (beeeeep) IS THE NAME OF THE(beeep) SHOW HOW THE (beeeeeeeeeeep) AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A (beeeeep) ANNOUNCER IF I DON'T KNOW.

Ah shit forget it just watch the (beep) show

Oops only censored the F word well R&R please.

BURN ME BURN ME I DARE YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU………forget that.


End file.
